Boyfriend

The word Boyfriend had become so meaningless and frivolous. The image that media and movies have created around a love relationship makes me feel disgust and slowly around me I see it become reality. At one point of time, in my teenage days even I used fantasize on proposals, dates, candle light and other unnecessary things that spend our money and effort only to give temporary happiness.

I feel so blessed to be able to experience love beyond the surface level. I am so glad I found someone who looks beyond being romantic in a relationship.

What I experience is actually a relationship of deep friendship.  
A person with whom my relationship is defined by trust and acceptance.

I find so beautiful that out relationships means having meaningful conversations, stay connected to each other life journeys,  spend time together, discuss our interests and really enjoy each other's company.

It does not mean going on dates, getting artificially dressed for each other or sending flirty texts.

Valentines day makes no sense to us nor does buying presents on our anniversary. Its not just about saying I love you but showing it through our actions of care.

I wonder what sense does posting status on Facebook or taking selfies on Instagram make. To whom other than him do I need to prove my love. For who's happiness is this relationship for?

He has taught me so much and continues to do so, I truly believe that even though we are opposites we balance out each other.

By his simple act of accepting me for who I am , I don't have to put any mask in front of him. I can truly be who I am and we can be just two friends out there to be together and support each other.

I think I have been able to truly discover love with him, beyond the romantic proposals, dates, gifts and text's.

To me the word Boyfriend is about love and compassion. Is about making handmade gifts for him, is about going for workshop and doing things together and is about going beyond the surface level. It means to create space for each other to be an individual. Long distance relationship is hard but it's totally worth it.

My own room #KabbadseJuggad

It began with an opportunity to have my own room for a temporary period of 2 months. As I live in a community in a dormitory setting, Its been years since I have stayed alone in a room. Like a little child excitement grew in me to discover the wonders of staying alone in a room.

The inner spirit of creativity awoke as I sat in the room, but along with that was the ever present value of sustainability. And so began my small journey of personalizing my room for the 2 months. 

It really all began with a problem, actually I am lying when I say that I live alone, I have rats and squirrels who live with me on the bamboo and grass roof. Now as long as they are staying with me, there is no issue but when my rat friends climb down the roof to eat my food and even my toiletries like soap there is a huge problem. So I made my room such that gives them no reason to climb down. Live and let live!

I found a rusted and dented metal box, that I renovated it to store things I don't want my rats friends to see. :)

After making this, I got inspired to make more things for my room.

I went hunting around the campus I stay in to find discarded things I can use, I found a thermocol piece and a cut glass bottle, which I converted into a organizer for my things. 

It is joyous to make things out of junk, and my sustainability soul is also in peace. 

But the challenge I faced in this is I used paint and fevicol. I know they have many chemicals in them and have an impact on me and the environment. I haven't done my research on the same but this thought occurred to me on how sustainable can I make up-cycling?

Pictures of some more things I made

Before

After

Symbol of wisdom

Paper mache vase

What I really cherish is, that I live in a beautiful campus, with amazing nature and people. It nice to live in a community of people, yet have a room of my own. The peaceful room has given me motivation to do practices for myself. 

What a wonderful view to wake up in the morning!

                                            

Movie reviews - Padman and Padmavati

Recently I saw two movies and would like to share with you my thoughts on it.

Padmavati :

The over-dramatic, elegant and sophisticated movie by Sanjay Bhansali is a one time watch. The costumes, sets, music and filming is elaborate and elegant. The acting in amazing, especially by Ranvir Singh.

The one thought that accorded to me when I stepped out of the theater was, Its all about the desire and power. Whether in the history or in the current times we humans are driven by lust for sex, desire for power and the image of being the best. Though Maharaja Ratan Singh(husband of Padmavati) is portrayed as the "good king" in the movie, in my opinion he was also driven by lust, desire and above all reputation to self and the kingdom. Doesn't this make Ratan Singh not much different from Alauddin khaji, he just did the same thing in a more virtues and ethical way. What about Ratan Singhs first wife? Does she have no dignity?

One of my friends watching the movie with me commented "Aditi Rao is also as beautiful as Deepika and I am sure in real Begum Mehrunissa would have also been a beautiful women." It got me thinking , how we have stereotyped beauty. How we have created a certain definition of beauty. How "someone" decided what is beauty, the women go crazy trying to be that beautiful women and men go crazy to possess that beauty. I feel so disgusted to know that women are objects of pleasure to men, now or in history.

As I see it human desire hasn't change over decades, it just has taken new forms. We fight, hurt each other, cheat and feel jealous ,we may not be fighting weapon wars but we are fighting emotional and mental wars in our every day life because of our the notion that men are superior and they should posses power especially women

Padman:

An inspiring movie and meaningful movie, The movie is well made. It is focused on the content of the movie and hasn't got distracted or dramatic. The topic of mensuration is something that is important to discuss on.  With a touch of humor, I really enjoyed watching this movie. 

Some may say that the movie is putting down traditional practices of managing periods and some may say its not spreading message of sustainable mensuration practices. As a person who practices using cloth for managing my blood, I found the movie giving a much needed perspective to the society. Hidden in the dialogues and in the story are so many meaningful thoughts, Celebrating when a girl comes to age and gets her first puberty, the reality of intensity it is taboo for women in India and they way its a "women problem" and men want/have nothing to do with it. The movie also shows the power of dedication and hard-work. The power of trial and error.

What was also awesome for me was that I saw this movie in theater all alone. For the first time I went to the theater alone to watch a movie. I was fearful of going alone to the theater because I am a girl and had these notions in my head. I am not saying I shouldn't be alert and take certain precautions but it was empowering for me to take this step. 

Organizing Learning Utsav

I truly believe that learning is something beyond boundaries, I dream of a society where we can go beyond discrimination, beyond division and simply celebrate each day and live.

I saw it unfold in front of my eyes at the Learning Utsav @ Aarohi.

Organising the learning Utsav has been an amazing journey for me. A month full of action, challenges and learning's. If I look back I realise that the belief in myself, that I am capable of achieving what I want to do and the immense support that I got was what made the event possible. 

To my astonishment I succeeded more than I expected, which is something for me as I generally set unattainable expectations for myself. I experienced the hard-work required to make something you dream come to reality. Organising the event pushed me to do things I wouldn't do generally. I fell in the position of a leader, I did the uncomfortable thing of delegating work, asking others to help and receiving lots of support from other. My capabilities to be an eagle were tested, to look at things from a far distance and yet see the tiny rat on the ground with great detail. I found myself breaking usual patterns of fear of failure/making mistakes, of trying to make things perfect and of expecting too much from a situation. It was liberating for me to organise this event, I completely enjoyed myself and hope to do more such work in the future. 

As for the Utsav, It was fascinating to see a day of little structure, little guidance and lots of freedom bloom in itself. It began with chaos, 150 people in one place, some from the village and some from the city. Many new to the concept of open learning. A smoke of confused spread everywhere, yet slowly learning emerged. 

A circle of discussion, the laughter from listening to stories, the pleasure of learning hula-hoop from a little girl, the bewilderment in learning to make your own wire puzzles from anna, the joy of playing, the magic of games, the inspiration of seeing a young boy teach how to maintain ones cycle, the disappointment of no one attending ones session, the tears of a fight between two friends, the spark of connection, the jingle of conversation and among everything the refreshment of watermelon and coconut water. This is what I witnessed in the Utsav, that even thought there was some mistakes in organisation and even thought it may have not been what everyone had expected, it was celebration of learning, of moving beyond boundaries.

Somebody asked me, what is the benefit of all this? Though I couldn't answer him, I was left wondering. From what I witness, to me the benefit was simply to embrace life. Everybody who came to the Utsav discovered something for themselves. Some learnt something new, some simply enjoyed a day out, some made new friends, some may have even gone home disappointed but my purpose to do the event was not to make anybody happy, but rather create an environment to let people create their own happiness and leaning. 

The flow of questions ( Flow Game )

I recently got trained as a Flow game Host.

To me the flow game is  such a simple yet profound tool to simply initiate meaningful and deep conversations, to unleash wisdom from everyday people who have everyday lives.

The center of the game lies in a question that the player comes with. A personal question related to their lives. Generally when there is question in ones life, one seeks for an answer and not just an answer but the right answer. It so amazing the game never answers your question and yet you gain so much clarity, direction and understanding in regards to the question. You discover multiple truths and truly witness yourself in the grey , neither white or black. Its so beautiful to use the method of a board game to help one pause, and simply take time to glance inside and reflect, an art that has been forgotten in the race of time. Its the chaos of questions that shows one their reality. 

What I realized from the three day training was that how much meaningful, deep and conversation that matter are missing from our society.  

As a group of young girls sat around the table playing the game, As I hosted my very first flow game with them, I observed how conversations around emotions, self image, reflections, family, relationships, internal journey and our struggles do not happen. How we yearn to discuss about these things, to be listened to. How these kind of conversations are missing amidst friends and family. We don't have the intuition to ask deep and meaningful questions to ourselves and others. Rather we talk frivolous things like who is dating whom in Bollywood or which lipstick brand is better.

It was also amazing to see that even though we were a room full of people from different walk of lives and different struggles and problems, we connected on a level of similarity, we connected as humans and were able to in just span of three hours move beyond the masks we put up to cover our own reality. 

I think the game is a process that will help me shed my masks and face my own reality, I know as I host these game more and play more, I will be able to tap in my deep consciousness and discover myself. 

I am really glad to be have received the precious gift of being trained as a Flow game host and wish to bring back the art of reflection and meaningful conversation in the world. Feel deeply grateful to the people who helped me receive this flow in my life.