Learning Driving

I experienced my first car accident. A very minor one with no injuries but it was a very different experience for me. I am not even sure what happened, in the spur of the moment things went wrong and a bike went off balance. The bike suffered a little damage. Definitely I was responsible for the accident, so I stopped and went to apologize. 

I thrown back by the shouting and insulting I started receiving from the biker and bystanders. I was confused because I was apologizing for the accident yet I was being shouted at. On top of it was in a language I couldn't completely understand. I felt scared, angry, confused and overwhelmed. I was told "I will take you to police station, you are lady driver you dont how to drive, who lets you drive on the road". I was so taken back because I was accepting my mistake and repeatably asking now what has to be done. 

Finally the biker agreed to go to the mechanic to get his bike repaired, I felt unfair that I was being completely accused for the accident when it was both parties fault but I was also scared so I just went with the biker and paid for the damages. 

It was a difficult experience for me, I need to work on gaining confidence in myself that I am good driver so that I dont get affected by others opinion.

When I came home, I liked reflecting about the event with my parents and thinking what all I can do next time this occurs. It was an incident to remind me, I am not perfect and I can learn from my mistakes. I am happy that I was able to handle the situation by myself and confidently drive back home.

However I am proud and happy to learn driving. I feel good that I have a skill which helps me be independent. It has been a challenging journey for me to learn driving but has been a very fun experience. 

Gift culture and my experience

Gift culture is a concept that I was introduced through various tools and people. I was left with Awe, to believe that we can look at the world beyond money. People can live with the energy of generousity, love and trust was new for me. Over the years I began experiencing and soon realized that it is not a concept to be understood but to be experienced.

For the benefit of someone who doesn't know what is gift economy or gift culture I will try and explain in my words. To me its about looking at life beyond money, more important than money is the relationship of humans. The earth and its people have enough for our needs and we dont need to live in scarcity, we can live in abundance. In a space where the spirit of trust, generosity and love come rather than selfishness and competition. There are many forms of of practicing gift economy and I am going to share about some that have touched me over the years based on my experience.

Dariya Dil Dukan : Stuff is everywhere, our houses are filled with it but not everything we own we need at all times. Creating spaces for people to give away the things they dont need but can be used by another is what I feel is Dariya dil dukan. Its not about the rich giving to the poor but about sharing among communities.
The shop with the heart as big as the ocean is the literal translation of dariya dil dukan. When I open my heart to giving I have experienced that I receive so much and not always has to be in tangible terms. I have experienced dariya dil dukan go beyond clothes or books, people have offered their homes to come stay, their expertise to learn from and their listening ear. Its really about offering and receiving beyond monetary transaction.
Having hosted many dariya dil dukan myself I am always been left with a so much love. I have been part of spaces where an individual offered a Kindle for anyone to take and also another individual offer a simple small stapler but held with love and care.

Sliding Scale : When I conduct workshops or sessions, I deeply want the workshop to be accessible to all and not let the fees of a workshop come as a barrier of learning. However I also understand that I want to earn some money to get by in this world. Keeping a sliding scale on the fees of a certain service like one example could be Rs.500 to Rs.1500 gives space to the giver to choose yet make sure I am able to cover the bare minimums.

There is also a concept of pay as you wish, where you ask the person to give as they would like. I haven't yet experimented with this concept. There are many other forms of gift economy, some our apart of our traditional Indian system.

Of course gift economy is not perfect and I feel its really about trusting the universe and people. To me its not a system, its about how I want to look at money, trust and life. Its how I understand myself and how I want to take care of my needs and wants.

The latest beautiful experience I went through is when I offered my hosting skills to some people with the intention to learn myself. I was giving without the thought or expectation of getting anything back expect learnings. People were touched by my hosting and work. They offered from their own side, some took me out for a meal, some offered to give me a ride around, some offered a gift and most astonishing for me was to be offered a token of appreciation in form of money.

There are such small moments that fill me with so much love and gratitude. I more and more believe that when I give openly , I am receiving double. I am still discovering my relationship with money and move between scarcity and abundance as my journey progresses. I just have to open my heart to receive love that the universe has to offer.

My trip to Auroville

Flow game :

I got trained as flow game host in 2018 March. There was a sense of inadequacy to host and some blockages to be able to open up and host flow games. I made an impulsive decision to go to Auroville. I was called by the invitation of a fellow host to come co-host at Auroville and that broke the barriers in me.

I co- hosted four flow games. One was a team game. In the process of hosting I was able to appreciate my hosting skills. I really enjoyed hosting flow games at Auroville and it became my central purpose of my time at Auroville.


Auroville :

The first thing that struck me about Auroville was the greenery. It's a beautiful township nestled among so much nature.

I loved the vision of Auroville. I found people very loving and kind. It was so easy to strike conversation with strangers and find new friends. Auroville felt very safe. It was comfortable to ask for lift, it was okay for a  alone women to walk the streets at night, it was safe to leave your cycle or scooter without a lock.
 There is so much space and opportunity. Lots of wonderful experiments, inspiring work and learning opportunities. People are open to people who are curious to learn.
 Of course the place is not Utopia but its a township that very different from anything I have seen and I loved the energy there.

 I visited Sadhana Forest. They are doing some amazing work on reforestation. I went for a tour. I walked out of the tour inspired to look at my food through the lenses of sustainability and look into finding ways to become at least a half vegan if not a complete one.

I visited Solitude farm. They had an interesting Earth festival going on. I learnt lots of recipes of local food and interacted with local food chefs. At the festival I got an natural tiara. I broke my worry of what people would think and went the whole day with my flower crown.

I visited the Mantrimandir. I got to a tour and meditate in the inner chamber. It was a peaceful experience. Got to spend some time with myself. Also through the tour got a better understanding of Auroville.

I ate some good healthy food at Auroville. Yummy food served with love. Best was at the solar kitchen.

Auroville is not perfect but its a town of happiness and meaningfulness.

Note : This blog is purely my personal opinion not a ultimate truth.

Why do I walk a degree-less path when I can get a degree?

When 10th exam then 12th and then a degree has been the only path that everyone is taking around us, it's so difficult to imagine any other possibility. When it's been told that this is the only path to success, happiness and security it feels impossible to know that there are other ways and maybe also other definitions of happiness and success.

One day, a person very openly and kindly questioned me about my decision of not walking the degree path.  After talking to me about my journey he gave me a suggestion to take M.A in English. Having himself taken M.A. in Kannada without much preparations or difficulty at a very late age. He believed that I had the capability of simply walking in the exam hall and passing with flying colours because of my knowledge and experience.
It was so honoring to know that someone look at me capable enough  to be able to pass a high level exam without much preparation.  He went on to tell me that me passing this exam and then also passing an IAS exam would not only be an achievement for me but for the whole alternative education community. It would prove to the world that this path was also of success.


It was so nice to know that he could share his opinion with me so openly and have a conversation about this. This conversation got me thinking and gave me clarity on where I stand.

Currently I don't believe that I have to prove to anybody that the path I have chosen is right and nor do I want to convince people to join this path because I have passed an exam or because I have become successful in a big way. 

I personally don't believe in the examination or degree system and that's why I don't see it as an avenue to measure my success for myself or for others.
I also don't agree with the definition of success or the measurement of intelligence as per the degree system, so by giving the exam I can't prove to anyone that I am successful. I believe I can be a role model in showing people that there is a way to live happily, successfully and earn money without being a part of the current system but by creating your own path. I believe I can be an avenue of contribution to the world through my skills and strengths.

I would also like to mention here that I have no problem whatsoever with any individual choosing the path of degree, however at this point of time in life that is not my path. I am also keeping an option open for me that anytime in future if for whatsoever reason I would like to obtain a degree I would do.  Also there are other alternative education children who have shown to the world that it is possible to do gain a degree if you are passionate for it. It all about walking your path because you want to, whether with or without degree.

An environment of equals

No barriers of age , everyone is equal and any age is capable to do things. These are believes I received from my upbringing and believe them to be true. However not always it what really happens in my life, sometimes I get stuck in the conditioning that I am bigger so I know better or can do something better.

This completely got shattered in Craft club.

Craft club is a group of enthusiastic crafters who wish to learn, make products and now we have moved to the stage of selling. We are a mixed age group with youngest is 8 and oldest me 20!

We learned wire art from our mentor – 2 children aged 12 picked up the wire art skill really well, they make beautiful jewelry and other wire stuff and have the technique in hand. They have eye for neatness, colour composition and beauty.

Initially I though I am good at Art and I should be teaching other in the club but this wire art simply turned the tables around, I was learning from them, getting scolding from them for not doing neatly and was asking them for suggestion. Our working environment became of equals – asking each other for comments and suggestions, appreciating each others work and enjoying working together.

Its beautiful to live in a community where I am can and am challenged to live my beliefs and values

Learnings from selling my art.

Selling my Art was a whole new experience. Read to know my experience of selling my art products for the first time.

I began with learning about how to make them to a sell able finish - How to create a product which looks beautiful and handmade yet finished. Soon I began to notice the small mistakes in my products and got the eye for the neatness.

The next step was thinking about pricing and packaging. How much should I sell the Art. At one side I wanted to keep it cheap so people would buy but on the other I wanted to value my hard-work and of course earn some money!
Most confusing in pricing was calculating the raw material cost, I mean how do I calculate the glue or the paint used in making a single product?

I felt so blessed to have people surrounding me who are ready to guide me, teach me and generously offer space in their stall table for me to display my items and 3 partners in crime.

The morning of the stall begin with learning how to set up a stall - looking at things from the perspective of selling.

Then came the selling - talking to customers, explaining my products, stating the price. The anxiety of whether my things would sell. Observing customer behavior was interesting.

Customers asked questions like is your mandala tray washable? What is the life of your product? Will the earring break or come out because it is handmade and so on. These questions did not even occur to me when I was making but when they asked I thought about and for some questions like is it washable I realized I need to do product testing before selling and the questions definitely gave me new perspectives. Also customers asked for a visiting card or Facebook page so now I know what's important before doing an exhibition again.


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When I went around the exhibition and saw other Art stalls I got an idea of what is selling in the market, I realized how decoupage, handmade jewelry, dream catchers and painting is being done by so many people and its nothing great anymore, I understood the value of having a USP in my products which for me I feel is Up - cycling. I also got lot of inspiration seeing so many artistic works.

I felt good when people appreciated my art, said it was nice, creative and innovative. I was happy that people where liking my art and I got encouragement.

The biggest learning for me was to value my own Art. I realized giving a right price in terms of money gives my Art its deserved value.
When a customer bargained with me for the mandala tray - I originally priced it 200, but I brought it down to 150 as the exhibition was coming to an end and I really wanted to sell my tray. Due to travelling there was small chip on the edge of the tart. The customer seeing that said that she would buy it for 100 as it was damaged. At that moment I couldn't think and couldn't put my foot down and respect my hard work and my skill. I felt so adequate in my skills because I made a mistake and gave into the bargain and later regretted it and learnt from it.

How do I price my art so I respect myself and the customer is a question alive for me!

Am I an Artist ?

As a child I dreamed of being an Artist. My inspiration has always been my mother, from a young age I have enjoying painting alongside my mother. At around 12 years I started attending Art classes, my mother found one the best art teachers in Bangalore and I would travel far to attend the Art classes. I did not particularly enjoy the art classes, they were too technical for me. Soon I lost my dream of becoming an artist.

I continued to draw and paint occasionally but as a hobby. One summer when I was 16 years old my father introduced me to Zentangle. He showed me pictures on the internet. I spent that summer painting and drawing Zentangle and Madhubani by seeing pictures from the internet. I slowly became quite good at Zentangle but I did not consider myself an Artist. I thought an Artist is someone who an expert, who has gone through proper training and who can make amazing paintings of all techniques.

 As I explored Zentangle, I stated sharing the Art with people. I started making the Art on greeting cards and gifting them to people. This led to people asking me to share the technique of the art with them. I took a few sessions on how to do zentangle. I began to realize my connection with art. I then got an opportunity  to make zentangle designs on handmade diaries for an eco friendly shop and did that for a month. It was awesome to see my drawing being sold and earning money for it.This whole experience of reaching a level of skill in Zentangle and being able to bring my own flavors and style gave me confidence on my Art but I still did not think I am an Artist. I did not understand colour combinations or contrast so I could not be called an Artist.

Over few years I explored other art like wall painting, impasto painting, mandala painting, dot art and so on. I also began doing and learning craft like quilling, decoupage, mix media, key chain making, wire art, making things out of waste material and so on.

I am still not an expert, I am still learning and understanding technical things like colour combination and mixing colours but I realized I am an Artist ! I am an Artist not because of my technique or expertise but for the connection I feel with art and passion I feel towards it. The way I enjoy doing art, I feel at peace while I am doing art and the way I show my love to people by gifting some art made by me.


Now I am at a stage of making my Art sell-able. I am working on creating art and craft products myself which I can sell. I am excited to experience the process of selling and pushing my skills to create products.
Another thing I am doing to push myself and give myself confidence is that I started an Facebook page to share my art with people. Also having a FB page gives me commitment towards my art work.

So yes I am an Artist ! and a unique one !