The flow of questions ( Flow Game )

I recently got trained as a Flow game Host.

To me the flow game is  such a simple yet profound tool to simply initiate meaningful and deep conversations, to unleash wisdom from everyday people who have everyday lives.

The center of the game lies in a question that the player comes with. A personal question related to their lives. Generally when there is question in ones life, one seeks for an answer and not just an answer but the right answer. It so amazing the game never answers your question and yet you gain so much clarity, direction and understanding in regards to the question. You discover multiple truths and truly witness yourself in the grey , neither white or black. Its so beautiful to use the method of a board game to help one pause, and simply take time to glance inside and reflect, an art that has been forgotten in the race of time. Its the chaos of questions that shows one their reality. 

What I realized from the three day training was that how much meaningful, deep and conversation that matter are missing from our society.  

As a group of young girls sat around the table playing the game, As I hosted my very first flow game with them, I observed how conversations around emotions, self image, reflections, family, relationships, internal journey and our struggles do not happen. How we yearn to discuss about these things, to be listened to. How these kind of conversations are missing amidst friends and family. We don't have the intuition to ask deep and meaningful questions to ourselves and others. Rather we talk frivolous things like who is dating whom in Bollywood or which lipstick brand is better.

It was also amazing to see that even though we were a room full of people from different walk of lives and different struggles and problems, we connected on a level of similarity, we connected as humans and were able to in just span of three hours move beyond the masks we put up to cover our own reality. 

I think the game is a process that will help me shed my masks and face my own reality, I know as I host these game more and play more, I will be able to tap in my deep consciousness and discover myself. 

I am really glad to be have received the precious gift of being trained as a Flow game host and wish to bring back the art of reflection and meaningful conversation in the world. Feel deeply grateful to the people who helped me receive this flow in my life. 

Why am I a change-maker?

At times I feel overwhelmed with the current situation of our society and earth, I feel angry and disturbed, I don't understand why there are so many problems. I feel we are an inordinate society because we have gender inequality, caste discrimination, animal violence, nature destruction, pollution, climate change, exploitation based on religion, addiction to drugs, disconnection from people, stuck on mobile phones, consumerism and so on and so forth. I feel so hopeless sometimes, I wonder why I am born in a generation where we are so disconnected from nature and our people.

I recently started watching the documentary, History of the earth in 2 hours. It begins with the Big Bang and ends in the present. I find the history of the earth very fascinating, how everything is so mysterious, gigantic and long. How we as humans as just a tiny part in the cosmic life of the earth. How millions years ago, plants decayed to become the coal we use today, how because grass grew apes evolved to humans and so many other things that happened over a period of long time

So really the slogan , "Save Mother Earth or Save the planet" is really not true, It really "save our human race, Save the planet to save yourself and your grandchildren". The earth has faced so many harsh conditions in the past and can find ways to bounce back in the future. It survived a ice-age, a mass extinction and other stuff. Sometimes I wonder why I am fighting for sustainability and social justice rather let mankind die in its doom for I trust the earth to figure her way out of the damage we leave her with.

Also if I see the history of Mankind, man has also gone through lots of phases and every generation has had its own set of problems and struggles. Every decade, every period in mankind life, has battled with problems, every age has had change-makes, like somebody must have changed the way cavemen live to make them farmers, Gandhi and many others solved their way through the freedom struggle and demanded for change. Some women got together to get their right for voting, The industrial revolution came to be to  solve problems, to improve life quality and to bring change, and so in the present time we are fighting and bringing change against the injustice happening to the planet and its people.

After all whether I like it or not, one day the human civilization will die, the earth will get finished, whether we protect the nature or not. For everything is continuously evolving and changing. Even with this realization, I have the fire to bring change, to give my contribution in moving to a direction that I believe is better that right now. I end with the realization that my intention is pure and so would have been of the person who brought green revolution.....

What is a healthy body image?

When I ask myself do I have a healthy body image. The first answer comes to me is yes, over the years I have been able to build a healthy relationship with my beauty. I have no problem with the way I look, even though people comment on the hair between my eyebrows or of having lots of pimples/marks on the face. I simply refuse to make something perfect for others, something that naturally appears on me. I despite make up and don't understand why women go through the pain of waxing.

But as I feel good about loving my body the way it is , I question myself. Do I really have a complete acceptance for my body. Are my thoughts still clouded by stereotypes and taboo about women?

I have a reached a stage where I need to question some images of myself and my body on the next level, beyond perfect white teeth and fat thighs.

Since I don't wax, I feel insecure and embarrassed to wear sleeveless or short dresses that show my legs, Why so?
Not wearing a bra is so much more comfortable but I feel so conscious of my breasts showing that I never go out of my house without a bra, Why so?
If unknowingly a bra strap is showing, or a little cleavage or maybe a little stomach. Why do I feel embarrassed.

When I am travelling, drying my undergarments or mensuration pads in the open makes we feel shy and I many times hide them using a towel ?

Yes it's my body and I should protect it, but from what and whom, women covered head to toe also are raped then does my clothing change things, I am wondering.....................

Yes, I am unique but at the end of the day its a body like others. Why do I feel embarrassed to be who I am am?

I have a dislike towards cameras and selfies, I dislike seeing myself on a video/photo or audio, but I ask myself why? I ask what is wrong with the beautiful curves and spots on my body and my unusual smile?

I am wondering what is a healthy body Image .............

(photo credit :https://de.123rf.com/photo_20303444_clothes-hanging-on-a-clothesline-hanging-on-thread-clothes-drying-t-shirt-boxer-short-men-s-hooded-s.html)

Sustainability challenges #Falling Sick

I fell sick this week, the normal sore throat, cold and stuff but even a simple cold can bring you really down.

When the pain in my throat was torturing me, the thought of skipping my natural healing routine and taking an allopathy tablet for instant relief crossed my mind multiple times.

 I know all the problems with Allopathy medicines , how the industry is in run for our money and so they sabotage our bodies with chemicals to give us instant relief but not really reliving our bodies from the viruses and other things.

 In theory and ethics its all clear and perfect but when it comes to practical application it is an uphill climb. It been a challenge for me stick with only natural health care for the past 3 years, especially when the menstrual cramps kick in, the mind cries for relief from the pain or when I am on a fruit diet for days and the stomach has no signs of healing any time soon. 

Another thought that crosses my mind is that right now its small, a cold, a cough, a fever and maximum I have gone to is Jaundice. What will happen to my values when I have a major health problem, will I still decline the benefits of modern medicine? Will I still stick to natural health care?What will I believe in?

Here I think the major challenge I face is the lack of knowledge, I find it comical that to take care of my body, its health and hygiene I have to depend on a doctor, why don't I have the ability to do that. I feel deprived of the wisdom to care for my body, especially the common illness, I do not know what to eat when I am passing lot of gas or how to prevent diseases in my life or other simple, natural and daily life things that I can to do lead a healthier life.

Why am I not educated and given access to the knowledge that will help me be a better person, rather I made dependable on one system, the modern medicine which requires me to have a good bank balance, when really I can do so much within my kitchen.

The other challenge is the 100 of theories. Like fashion, the science on health care keeps bringing up new theories, today eating one teaspoon of cinnamon powder can reduce risk of cancer but after few weeks it says actually eating dark chocolate is better.
Ayurveda says don't drink water first thing in the morning, Naturopathy asks you to drink plenty of water. arrgggg I am so confused. I am also yearning to gain proper and authentic knowledge, that will enable me to continue my daily life but not depend on the system for health care.

Whenever I fall sick or feel something wrong in my body, my ability to understand it, care for it and  my will power to heal naturally is challenged. To me sustainability is not just about going green but really connecting with every aspect of my life.

What is education teaching us??

Currently one of my primary interest is sustainability, understanding the impact of our current development and lifestyle choices to the planet and its people.
In my exploration on this topic, I encountered the concept of economics and politics at many junctures and since I do not have a deep understanding of the same, I decided to read a little and understand these concepts.

I started with Economics - I picked up a economics textbook of class 4. Reading through the first two chapters, I felt a sense of surprise.

The chapters talk about human as a resource, when a human is invested into they turn from a liability to a asset to the country. When we invest into the "education" and "health" of a young child then they will be an asset to the country and contribute to the GDP and growth. This gave me a weird feeling, being talked about as if I am pawn in a large game of development.

What I read further is what troubled me the most.

I quote the textbook " for many decades in India, a large population has been considered a liability rather than an asset, but that can change by investment in human capital. The textbook talked about a scenario of two village boys - one boy Ram , who got the opportunity of education and became a software engineer, improving the quality of life in his house and adding to the development of the country. While on the other hand the other boy Sham had no father, his mother sold fish to earn. Sham had arthritis and due to less money in the house, he was not given proper medical facility or education. He grew up to do the "unskilled labour" work of selling fish.

I acknowledge that there is poverty in the country and a lot of people suffer from poverty, but a textbook is teaching a young child of 9 that selling fish is lower than being a software engineer. It is telling the child that a large population of India is a liability, that all the farmers, cobblers, fishermen, artisan and so on are a burden to the country till they get "educated", till they use the modern technology and contribute to the "development of our country".

The child who may never have been to a village, now looks at a villager as poor, now looks at a village as a place to bring change and development. Living in a village myself, I can tell that they do not need us to change them, do not need us to bring upon them our ideas of development. The villagers are our country's biggest asset, they are the one who are providing to the development of the country and keeping all the economists tummy's full and life comfortable.

Now I understand why we can't respect a barber for what he does, because that what "education" is giving to us. Of course I am not blaming the textbook or education completely, I did learn a few concepts of economics from the textbook. I agree with the textbook, that when a child is given good education, medical facilities and good quality of life he/she can be a asset to our country, forget country to the world but the question is what kind of education?
What kind of medical facility - a facility that makes our bodies dependable on  tablets and injections and is heavy on our pocket??

And lastly what kind of development do we want ? Where our mindset is that selling fish is unskilled labour and an unskilled labour leads a life of poverty and illness? I don't think this approach towards betterment will ever make us reach a world educated, healthy and happy people.

Surfing the waves

Standing on the board, riding the wave a rush of glory hit me. I landed smoothly on the shore and shouted out a victory yell. I looked out into the ocean and gave a huge smile to my instructor. 

I has successfully rode my first wave, I successfully surfed for the first time.

10 days ago when I heard about the surfing trip my father and brother were going for, a thought crossed my mind " I am not an adventure sports person, not even in my wildest dreams can I surf." Then you may ask how I landed up in the vast ocean surfing, well thanks to my mother. With a big smile on her face she said to me, " Go give it try, you will enjoy and worst case you play in the beach and come back"

We went to this amazing place in Mulki, Karnataka called Surfing Ashram. The place is beautiful, the food is gourmet, the people warm-hearted and zealous and above all the surfing is an out of the world experience. My head swam with thoughts of fear and anxiety as we approached our three day stay at the surfing ashram. I was stepping out of my comfort zone, and I knew this was going to be difficult. 

After two and a half hours of perseverance , I had failed on day one. I was unable to stand up on the board, out of fear I clutched the ends of the surfing board and would not stand up. For those who have never seen surfing, let me tell you a little. Surfing is riding - balancing on a wave using a surf board. First you lie down on your stomach on the surf board and when you paddle into the wave - you pop up to stand up and balance yourself, riding the wave. 

The pop up was where I was finding it challenging and as we headed back a sense of gloom fell upon me. Then I thought "Hey today was your first day, yes others where able to do in the first day but so what? You will get it, all you have to do is try and you will also learn eventually. Its okay to learn slowly."

A determination to learn surfing, to get it right fell upon me, as I awaited the next day I started visualizing myself doing surfing - doing it right, I started telling myself I am capable, I am fit enough, I can do it. This self talk and self motivating with a lot of repeat visualizing really did the trick. Of course the encouragement and support of the instructors and my dad helped too. 

At the end I had a superlative trip, lots of fun surfing, playing in the beach waters, kayaking and stand up paddling. The trip was really about me breaking my boundaries and challenging myself. It was about and falling and still standing - and let me tell you , you fall a lot in surfing, falling in the water is part of the fun:)

Happy surfing :)

Asawari 

Peer Feedback in self directed learning process.

 My thoughts of Peer feedback as a process in self –directed learning, this is from my experience at Aarohi and Swaraj.

# As a self-directed learner – what measurable or credit do I have when I say that I am skilled in a specific area or I am capable to do anything. One very important credibility and assessment comes from the peers, comes from the feedback I receive from my mentors, peers, parents and facilitators.They are able to show me the mirror in both my tangible and intangible skills, as they work and observe me.

# Having a feedback process in self directed learning especially in a community of learners is very important. As the openness to receive and give feedback and the honesty with which it is done creates an environment of continuous evolving and shows that no one is perfect – even the facilitators. It most importantly creates healthy, transparent and honest relationships.

# When doing self or peer assessment – there is equal importance to the external/tangible and to the internal/self skills.  You academic performance is not what defines you as a person or defines your success. The peers are able to notice your strengths and weakness, your growth as a person.

# When observing others or self it is easy to find negative traits, places to improve or faults but is difficult to appreciate and acknowledge the positive sides, the capabilities, the growth.  During feedback, the process pushes us to look at both the sides of the person, look at where we have improved and where work needs to be done, this makes one feel acknowledged and noticed.

# Finally Self-directed learning is about following my heart and I know myself better than anybody else. At the end of the day whatever feedback I get, I have the choice to discard feedback, to integrate what I feel is right. Since there is no external assessment in open learning, I find peer feedback a very healthy and enriching process. It as if people are mirrors showing you your reflection, Showing you who you are . Peer feedback is something that I really benefited from in my journey at Swaraj.