Movie reviews - Padman and Padmavati

Recently I saw two movies and would like to share with you my thoughts on it.

Padmavati :

The over-dramatic, elegant and sophisticated movie by Sanjay Bhansali is a one time watch. The costumes, sets, music and filming is elaborate and elegant. The acting in amazing, especially by Ranvir Singh.

The one thought that accorded to me when I stepped out of the theater was, Its all about the desire and power. Whether in the history or in the current times we humans are driven by lust for sex, desire for power and the image of being the best. Though Maharaja Ratan Singh(husband of Padmavati) is portrayed as the "good king" in the movie, in my opinion he was also driven by lust, desire and above all reputation to self and the kingdom. Doesn't this make Ratan Singh not much different from Alauddin khaji, he just did the same thing in a more virtues and ethical way. What about Ratan Singhs first wife? Does she have no dignity?

One of my friends watching the movie with me commented "Aditi Rao is also as beautiful as Deepika and I am sure in real Begum Mehrunissa would have also been a beautiful women." It got me thinking , how we have stereotyped beauty. How we have created a certain definition of beauty. How "someone" decided what is beauty, the women go crazy trying to be that beautiful women and men go crazy to possess that beauty. I feel so disgusted to know that women are objects of pleasure to men, now or in history.

As I see it human desire hasn't change over decades, it just has taken new forms. We fight, hurt each other, cheat and feel jealous ,we may not be fighting weapon wars but we are fighting emotional and mental wars in our every day life because of our the notion that men are superior and they should posses power especially women

Padman:

An inspiring movie and meaningful movie, The movie is well made. It is focused on the content of the movie and hasn't got distracted or dramatic. The topic of mensuration is something that is important to discuss on.  With a touch of humor, I really enjoyed watching this movie. 

Some may say that the movie is putting down traditional practices of managing periods and some may say its not spreading message of sustainable mensuration practices. As a person who practices using cloth for managing my blood, I found the movie giving a much needed perspective to the society. Hidden in the dialogues and in the story are so many meaningful thoughts, Celebrating when a girl comes to age and gets her first puberty, the reality of intensity it is taboo for women in India and they way its a "women problem" and men want/have nothing to do with it. The movie also shows the power of dedication and hard-work. The power of trial and error.

What was also awesome for me was that I saw this movie in theater all alone. For the first time I went to the theater alone to watch a movie. I was fearful of going alone to the theater because I am a girl and had these notions in my head. I am not saying I shouldn't be alert and take certain precautions but it was empowering for me to take this step. 

Organizing Learning Utsav

I truly believe that learning is something beyond boundaries, I dream of a society where we can go beyond discrimination, beyond division and simply celebrate each day and live.

I saw it unfold in front of my eyes at the Learning Utsav @ Aarohi.

Organising the learning Utsav has been an amazing journey for me. A month full of action, challenges and learning's. If I look back I realise that the belief in myself, that I am capable of achieving what I want to do and the immense support that I got was what made the event possible. 

To my astonishment I succeeded more than I expected, which is something for me as I generally set unattainable expectations for myself. I experienced the hard-work required to make something you dream come to reality. Organising the event pushed me to do things I wouldn't do generally. I fell in the position of a leader, I did the uncomfortable thing of delegating work, asking others to help and receiving lots of support from other. My capabilities to be an eagle were tested, to look at things from a far distance and yet see the tiny rat on the ground with great detail. I found myself breaking usual patterns of fear of failure/making mistakes, of trying to make things perfect and of expecting too much from a situation. It was liberating for me to organise this event, I completely enjoyed myself and hope to do more such work in the future. 

As for the Utsav, It was fascinating to see a day of little structure, little guidance and lots of freedom bloom in itself. It began with chaos, 150 people in one place, some from the village and some from the city. Many new to the concept of open learning. A smoke of confused spread everywhere, yet slowly learning emerged. 

A circle of discussion, the laughter from listening to stories, the pleasure of learning hula-hoop from a little girl, the bewilderment in learning to make your own wire puzzles from anna, the joy of playing, the magic of games, the inspiration of seeing a young boy teach how to maintain ones cycle, the disappointment of no one attending ones session, the tears of a fight between two friends, the spark of connection, the jingle of conversation and among everything the refreshment of watermelon and coconut water. This is what I witnessed in the Utsav, that even thought there was some mistakes in organisation and even thought it may have not been what everyone had expected, it was celebration of learning, of moving beyond boundaries.

Somebody asked me, what is the benefit of all this? Though I couldn't answer him, I was left wondering. From what I witness, to me the benefit was simply to embrace life. Everybody who came to the Utsav discovered something for themselves. Some learnt something new, some simply enjoyed a day out, some made new friends, some may have even gone home disappointed but my purpose to do the event was not to make anybody happy, but rather create an environment to let people create their own happiness and leaning. 

The flow of questions ( Flow Game )

I recently got trained as a Flow game Host.

To me the flow game is  such a simple yet profound tool to simply initiate meaningful and deep conversations, to unleash wisdom from everyday people who have everyday lives.

The center of the game lies in a question that the player comes with. A personal question related to their lives. Generally when there is question in ones life, one seeks for an answer and not just an answer but the right answer. It so amazing the game never answers your question and yet you gain so much clarity, direction and understanding in regards to the question. You discover multiple truths and truly witness yourself in the grey , neither white or black. Its so beautiful to use the method of a board game to help one pause, and simply take time to glance inside and reflect, an art that has been forgotten in the race of time. Its the chaos of questions that shows one their reality. 

What I realized from the three day training was that how much meaningful, deep and conversation that matter are missing from our society.  

As a group of young girls sat around the table playing the game, As I hosted my very first flow game with them, I observed how conversations around emotions, self image, reflections, family, relationships, internal journey and our struggles do not happen. How we yearn to discuss about these things, to be listened to. How these kind of conversations are missing amidst friends and family. We don't have the intuition to ask deep and meaningful questions to ourselves and others. Rather we talk frivolous things like who is dating whom in Bollywood or which lipstick brand is better.

It was also amazing to see that even though we were a room full of people from different walk of lives and different struggles and problems, we connected on a level of similarity, we connected as humans and were able to in just span of three hours move beyond the masks we put up to cover our own reality. 

I think the game is a process that will help me shed my masks and face my own reality, I know as I host these game more and play more, I will be able to tap in my deep consciousness and discover myself. 

I am really glad to be have received the precious gift of being trained as a Flow game host and wish to bring back the art of reflection and meaningful conversation in the world. Feel deeply grateful to the people who helped me receive this flow in my life. 

Why am I a change-maker?

At times I feel overwhelmed with the current situation of our society and earth, I feel angry and disturbed, I don't understand why there are so many problems. I feel we are an inordinate society because we have gender inequality, caste discrimination, animal violence, nature destruction, pollution, climate change, exploitation based on religion, addiction to drugs, disconnection from people, stuck on mobile phones, consumerism and so on and so forth. I feel so hopeless sometimes, I wonder why I am born in a generation where we are so disconnected from nature and our people.

I recently started watching the documentary, History of the earth in 2 hours. It begins with the Big Bang and ends in the present. I find the history of the earth very fascinating, how everything is so mysterious, gigantic and long. How we as humans as just a tiny part in the cosmic life of the earth. How millions years ago, plants decayed to become the coal we use today, how because grass grew apes evolved to humans and so many other things that happened over a period of long time

So really the slogan , "Save Mother Earth or Save the planet" is really not true, It really "save our human race, Save the planet to save yourself and your grandchildren". The earth has faced so many harsh conditions in the past and can find ways to bounce back in the future. It survived a ice-age, a mass extinction and other stuff. Sometimes I wonder why I am fighting for sustainability and social justice rather let mankind die in its doom for I trust the earth to figure her way out of the damage we leave her with.

Also if I see the history of Mankind, man has also gone through lots of phases and every generation has had its own set of problems and struggles. Every decade, every period in mankind life, has battled with problems, every age has had change-makes, like somebody must have changed the way cavemen live to make them farmers, Gandhi and many others solved their way through the freedom struggle and demanded for change. Some women got together to get their right for voting, The industrial revolution came to be to  solve problems, to improve life quality and to bring change, and so in the present time we are fighting and bringing change against the injustice happening to the planet and its people.

After all whether I like it or not, one day the human civilization will die, the earth will get finished, whether we protect the nature or not. For everything is continuously evolving and changing. Even with this realization, I have the fire to bring change, to give my contribution in moving to a direction that I believe is better that right now. I end with the realization that my intention is pure and so would have been of the person who brought green revolution.....

What is a healthy body image?

When I ask myself do I have a healthy body image. The first answer comes to me is yes, over the years I have been able to build a healthy relationship with my beauty. I have no problem with the way I look, even though people comment on the hair between my eyebrows or of having lots of pimples/marks on the face. I simply refuse to make something perfect for others, something that naturally appears on me. I despite make up and don't understand why women go through the pain of waxing.

But as I feel good about loving my body the way it is , I question myself. Do I really have a complete acceptance for my body. Are my thoughts still clouded by stereotypes and taboo about women?

I have a reached a stage where I need to question some images of myself and my body on the next level, beyond perfect white teeth and fat thighs.

Since I don't wax, I feel insecure and embarrassed to wear sleeveless or short dresses that show my legs, Why so?
Not wearing a bra is so much more comfortable but I feel so conscious of my breasts showing that I never go out of my house without a bra, Why so?
If unknowingly a bra strap is showing, or a little cleavage or maybe a little stomach. Why do I feel embarrassed.

When I am travelling, drying my undergarments or mensuration pads in the open makes we feel shy and I many times hide them using a towel ?

Yes it's my body and I should protect it, but from what and whom, women covered head to toe also are raped then does my clothing change things, I am wondering.....................

Yes, I am unique but at the end of the day its a body like others. Why do I feel embarrassed to be who I am am?

I have a dislike towards cameras and selfies, I dislike seeing myself on a video/photo or audio, but I ask myself why? I ask what is wrong with the beautiful curves and spots on my body and my unusual smile?

I am wondering what is a healthy body Image .............

(photo credit :https://de.123rf.com/photo_20303444_clothes-hanging-on-a-clothesline-hanging-on-thread-clothes-drying-t-shirt-boxer-short-men-s-hooded-s.html)

Sustainability challenges #Falling Sick

I fell sick this week, the normal sore throat, cold and stuff but even a simple cold can bring you really down.

When the pain in my throat was torturing me, the thought of skipping my natural healing routine and taking an allopathy tablet for instant relief crossed my mind multiple times.

 I know all the problems with Allopathy medicines , how the industry is in run for our money and so they sabotage our bodies with chemicals to give us instant relief but not really reliving our bodies from the viruses and other things.

 In theory and ethics its all clear and perfect but when it comes to practical application it is an uphill climb. It been a challenge for me stick with only natural health care for the past 3 years, especially when the menstrual cramps kick in, the mind cries for relief from the pain or when I am on a fruit diet for days and the stomach has no signs of healing any time soon. 

Another thought that crosses my mind is that right now its small, a cold, a cough, a fever and maximum I have gone to is Jaundice. What will happen to my values when I have a major health problem, will I still decline the benefits of modern medicine? Will I still stick to natural health care?What will I believe in?

Here I think the major challenge I face is the lack of knowledge, I find it comical that to take care of my body, its health and hygiene I have to depend on a doctor, why don't I have the ability to do that. I feel deprived of the wisdom to care for my body, especially the common illness, I do not know what to eat when I am passing lot of gas or how to prevent diseases in my life or other simple, natural and daily life things that I can to do lead a healthier life.

Why am I not educated and given access to the knowledge that will help me be a better person, rather I made dependable on one system, the modern medicine which requires me to have a good bank balance, when really I can do so much within my kitchen.

The other challenge is the 100 of theories. Like fashion, the science on health care keeps bringing up new theories, today eating one teaspoon of cinnamon powder can reduce risk of cancer but after few weeks it says actually eating dark chocolate is better.
Ayurveda says don't drink water first thing in the morning, Naturopathy asks you to drink plenty of water. arrgggg I am so confused. I am also yearning to gain proper and authentic knowledge, that will enable me to continue my daily life but not depend on the system for health care.

Whenever I fall sick or feel something wrong in my body, my ability to understand it, care for it and  my will power to heal naturally is challenged. To me sustainability is not just about going green but really connecting with every aspect of my life.

What is education teaching us??

Currently one of my primary interest is sustainability, understanding the impact of our current development and lifestyle choices to the planet and its people.
In my exploration on this topic, I encountered the concept of economics and politics at many junctures and since I do not have a deep understanding of the same, I decided to read a little and understand these concepts.

I started with Economics - I picked up a economics textbook of class 4. Reading through the first two chapters, I felt a sense of surprise.

The chapters talk about human as a resource, when a human is invested into they turn from a liability to a asset to the country. When we invest into the "education" and "health" of a young child then they will be an asset to the country and contribute to the GDP and growth. This gave me a weird feeling, being talked about as if I am pawn in a large game of development.

What I read further is what troubled me the most.

I quote the textbook " for many decades in India, a large population has been considered a liability rather than an asset, but that can change by investment in human capital. The textbook talked about a scenario of two village boys - one boy Ram , who got the opportunity of education and became a software engineer, improving the quality of life in his house and adding to the development of the country. While on the other hand the other boy Sham had no father, his mother sold fish to earn. Sham had arthritis and due to less money in the house, he was not given proper medical facility or education. He grew up to do the "unskilled labour" work of selling fish.

I acknowledge that there is poverty in the country and a lot of people suffer from poverty, but a textbook is teaching a young child of 9 that selling fish is lower than being a software engineer. It is telling the child that a large population of India is a liability, that all the farmers, cobblers, fishermen, artisan and so on are a burden to the country till they get "educated", till they use the modern technology and contribute to the "development of our country".

The child who may never have been to a village, now looks at a villager as poor, now looks at a village as a place to bring change and development. Living in a village myself, I can tell that they do not need us to change them, do not need us to bring upon them our ideas of development. The villagers are our country's biggest asset, they are the one who are providing to the development of the country and keeping all the economists tummy's full and life comfortable.

Now I understand why we can't respect a barber for what he does, because that what "education" is giving to us. Of course I am not blaming the textbook or education completely, I did learn a few concepts of economics from the textbook. I agree with the textbook, that when a child is given good education, medical facilities and good quality of life he/she can be a asset to our country, forget country to the world but the question is what kind of education?
What kind of medical facility - a facility that makes our bodies dependable on  tablets and injections and is heavy on our pocket??

And lastly what kind of development do we want ? Where our mindset is that selling fish is unskilled labour and an unskilled labour leads a life of poverty and illness? I don't think this approach towards betterment will ever make us reach a world educated, healthy and happy people.